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Spock had no choice but look in those hazel eyes. Jim wanted to help him. But, did Spock want that help? Or did he wish to remain in his present state. Was it pity? Did he feel it for himself? Did Jim feel pity for him? Didn't Miranda once said, pity was the worst of all. She was right.

"What are you thinking about, Spock? It seems like, I've lost you? Don't give up on yourself?" Jim pleaded with his friend. He slowly loosened his grip and waited for an answer.

Spock sighed. He was honestly afraid. He stood up straighter and tried to find his words.

"I truly believed I could find solace, peace of mind when I went to Gol. Shed all emotion. I would no longer feel anything. At first, it was difficult, later it became much easier. They saw the progress in me. The day came when I had to say goodbye to everyone I knew. I was ready to accept that. The moment I was to achieve Kolinahr, I heard a voice, someone calling me."

Jim stared at Spock, listening to his every word.

"The Vulcan Master demanded I join my mind to hers. She said my human blood was touched by that voice. That I had to find my answers elsewhere." Spock said as he recalled her words.

"What voice did you hear? Was it me?" Jim asked curiously.

"I believe it was a combination of your thoughts, and the power of what V'ger was. V'ger fascinated me. No. It wasn't fascination. It was an obsession. I needed to know what V'ger was. My only choice then, was to confront it."

"But, you did confront it. You almost died from the experience. What did you gain from it?" Jim demanded.

"That a simple feeling can be felt so deeply that it surpasses rational thought. I do not wish to be overwhelmed by it."

"Why the hell not?" Jim asked.

"I'm afraid of where it may lead."

"Spock, there comes a time in life where you have take a chance on love. It may never come again."

"Why do you care so much, Jim?"

"Because I do. I see your both sides Spock, the human part of you and your Vulcan side. You wouldn't be you if that human side of you didn't exist."

"That human side of me, is kept hidden. I do not wish to set it free."

"But, I see it Spock. You've already lost. It's so subtle but it's there. Those half smiles you gave me so long ago. The times where you cared for my well being when I was in danger. Remember the horta? That was the human part of you that came through. How can you not accept yourself? Your mother is human. She loves you, and I know you love her. You told me that you always wanted to tell her that you cared."

"Please, do not bring up PSI 2000. I almost destroyed the ship with those wonderful emotions you talk about."

Jim grabbed Spock by the shoulders and shook him.

"In case your forgotten, you saved the ship dammit."

"Only because you managed to free me of those emotions so I could do just that. Violent emotions. You struck me, more than once."

"It had to be done. Look Spock, we are getting off track. Emotions, are a part of being human. I live with them every day. So must you."

"I should have died when I melded with V'ger. Why didn't I die, Jim?" Spock asked his friend.

"Is that what you want? You want to end it all? Not to feel a damn thing? I won't let you."

"I should leave." Spock said as he turned toward the door. "Leaving me again? It seems you're very good at that. I swear to you Spock, if you leave this apartment, I..."

"Help me, Jim. Please... I don't... I don't know what to do..." Spock wept as he fell to his knees. Jim was there to catch him.

Description
Spock had no choice but look in those hazel eyes. Jim wanted to help him. But, did Spock want that help? Or did he wish to remain in his present state. Was it pity? Did he feel it for himself? Did Jim feel pity for him? Didn't Miranda once said, pity was the worst of all. She was right.

"What are you thinking about, Spock? It seems like, I've lost you? Don't give up on yourself?" Jim pleaded with his friend. He slowly loosened his grip and waited for an answer.

Spock sighed. He was honestly afraid. He stood up straighter and tried to find his words.

"I truly believed I could find solace, peace of mind when I went to Gol. Shed all emotion. I would no longer feel anything. At first, it was difficult, later it became much easier. They saw the progress in me. The day came when I had to say goodbye to everyone I knew. I was ready to accept that. The moment I was to achieve Kolinahr, I heard a voice, someone calling me."

Jim stared at Spock, listening to his every word.

"The Vulcan Master demanded I join my mind to hers. She said my human blood was touched by that voice. That I had to find my answers elsewhere." Spock said as he recalled her words.

"What voice did you hear? Was it me?" Jim asked curiously.

"I believe it was a combination of your thoughts, and the power of what V'ger was. V'ger fascinated me. No. It wasn't fascination. It was an obsession. I needed to know what V'ger was. My only choice then, was to confront it."

"But, you did confront it. You almost died from the experience. What did you gain from it?" Jim demanded.

"That a simple feeling can be felt so deeply that it surpasses rational thought. I do not wish to be overwhelmed by it."

"Why the hell not?" Jim asked.

"I'm afraid of where it may lead."

"Spock, there comes a time in life where you have take a chance on love. It may never come again."

"Why do you care so much, Jim?"

"Because I do. I see your both sides Spock, the human part of you and your Vulcan side. You wouldn't be you if that human side of you didn't exist."

"That human side of me, is kept hidden. I do not wish to set it free."

"But, I see it Spock. You've already lost. It's so subtle but it's there. Those half smiles you gave me so long ago. The times where you cared for my well being when I was in danger. Remember the horta? That was the human part of you that came through. How can you not accept yourself? Your mother is human. She loves you, and I know you love her. You told me that you always wanted to tell her that you cared."

"Please, do not bring up PSI 2000. I almost destroyed the ship with those wonderful emotions you talk about."

Jim grabbed Spock by the shoulders and shook him.

"In case your forgotten, you saved the ship dammit."

"Only because you managed to free me of those emotions so I could do just that. Violent emotions. You struck me, more than once."

"It had to be done. Look Spock, we are getting off track. Emotions, are a part of being human. I live with them every day. So must you."

"I should have died when I melded with V'ger. Why didn't I die, Jim?" Spock asked his friend.

"Is that what you want? You want to end it all? Not to feel a damn thing? I won't let you."

"I should leave." Spock said as he turned toward the door. "Leaving me again? It seems you're very good at that. I swear to you Spock, if you leave this apartment, I..."

"Help me, Jim. Please... I don't... I don't know what to do..." Spock wept as he fell to his knees. Jim was there to catch him.