Description
Well, the second story is not happy at all or a good memory.. Just remembering and writing this, my whole body feels it and gives me a terrible anguish. But here we go...
Elfyie is not just the nickname I chose to enter this world of arts (my actual nick is different), Elfyie was the name of my little cat... She was the most lively, loving, and full of life little thing, simply a being full of love and energy! She would keep me awake for days trying to destroy the house and climbing on everything kkk She had so much energy, but she made up for it by loving to be in my lap and giving me all the love she had. I remember as if it were today the purring sound that tiny and defenseless creature made when I held her in my arms for the first time and nestled her against my chest, as if she knew she was finally safe (she was abandoned on the street when she was just a few days old).
At six or seven months old, we took her to be spayed, the vet said she was ready, and I had to leave her there for a day and night with a heavy heart When she came home that day, she was so happy, she didn't even seem like she had undergone surgery! She jumped on the bed, and I laughed and said, "Elfyie, no!" Haha, all worried... She ate, and everything seemed fine, but that night she started acting strange and sulking in the bathroom. She seemed to be breathing rapidly, and I started to worry... I could hardly sleep that night, she seemed to be getting worse... At 7:00 a.m. the next day, I called the vet, and he said she might be in pain, so we gave her some medicine, which she struggled to swallow because it was in drops... On that day, I was alone at home, and that morning she started to get worse... I was already extremely worried, not knowing what to do, and the vet had decided to go on a trip that day... So you can imagine, me alone at home with no way to take her anywhere, no support, and the vet far away.
I messaged him explaining the situation, he said I could give her the medicine again later, but I confess I don't remember exactly what he said because there are several gaps in my memory from that entire morning. But at no point did the vet warn me or did I think of the worst.
She started breathing with difficulty and making noises while breathing, and that was devastating for me. I was already desperate, looking at her and crying, telling her that everything would be fine, and I truly believed it.
As the morning went on, I sent a video to the vet, telling him that it wasn't normal and asking what I could do. He seemed concerned, and I don't really remember his response, I know he was going to check with a friend or something, I'm not sure... Elfyie spent the entire morning suffering, and I was there with her, not knowing what to do and without anyone to help me, and the vet didn't show up with any solution. At 1 o'clock in the afternoon, someone would come home, and I would take her to another vet, I don't know, but I was going to do something!
Around noon, I took Elfyie and put her on the bed with me, thinking that soon everything would be fine cause help would arrive when they got home! After some time, she became agitated, trying to jump off the bed, trying to hide. I found it very strange and asked her what was happening. I picked her up and put her on my lap, and... Oh my God, it hurts to remember this.
She started foaming at the mouth in my arms, trembling, and I entered a state of complete panic. I didn't know what to do, I started crying and trembling, grabbed my phone trying to ask the vet for help, to see if there was anything I could do in that moment, but he didn't answer. That was my worst nightmare unfolding right there. I looked at her, and she wasn't moving anymore.
At that moment, I picked up her little body and put it against my ear in a desperate attempt to see if she was still alive, and when I heard nothing, I freaked out...
I started screaming and crying desperately like never before... She had died... Right there... In my lap, and there was nothing else I could do.
Those were the most desperate moments of my life. I apologized, I felt guilty, I wished I had said goodbye instead of trying to call the vet, I wished I had comforted her and told her I loved her instead of being on the stupid phone.
It was the most traumatic event of my life, and I know I was never the same after that.
I spent months crying, blaming myself, trying to understand where I went wrong, what I could have done differently, why, and thinking that I should have done this or that, or even just played more with her while she was alive.I'm crying so much while writing this because it feels like I'm experiencing it all over again, every time I remember, even after more than 6 years.
I think a part of me died with her, because after that day, I felt different. I know you might think it's exaggerated, but I feel everything deeply, and when I love, I love deeply, it consumes me... And at that time, she was one of the few things I had in life, she kept me company and made me smile. I always say that I'm not afraid of dying, but of losing the ones I love.
I decided to tell this story because of the name and because it was something that marked my life and contributed to me being here today. I spent all those months crying and looking at the arts that could express what I was feeling and that helped me in those moments and became a hobby.
I apologize for the sad story and the emotional burden I placed in it, and for not being able to create an image with Elfyie, but every time I tried, it was too painful kkk
I promise that the next story will be a happy memory and one of the things I'm passionate about in life!
Thank you for reading until here, and for everything!