Avield In reply to FreakAboutSims [2014-04-26 04:25:44 +0000 UTC]

How so?

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Avield In reply to Jakeusso [2014-04-13 19:05:31 +0000 UTC]

Sure! Anything you would like to do in particular?

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Jakeusso In reply to Avield [2014-04-13 19:43:49 +0000 UTC]

Well I started playing the Moba game called prime world and I will start doing some drawings for it soon

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Avield In reply to SaraSkyWolf [2013-09-30 00:47:02 +0000 UTC]

by all means

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Avield In reply to YouAreReadingThis [2013-07-14 05:11:47 +0000 UTC]

You should tell that to the artist that made it. If you want... the icon is in my favorites. But yes, it is pretty sweet.

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YouAreReadingThis In reply to Avield [2013-07-14 05:14:08 +0000 UTC]

I shall probably do that a little later. But gosh, those eyebrows are enticing.

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Avield In reply to AvatarGyatsoTenzin45 [2013-07-09 00:41:18 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! Sokka part 4 isn't done and needs so much editing, but I've been lazy and real life has been bugging me. I will try to find time to finish it and will send a deviant message when it has been.

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Avield In reply to adamlara [2013-06-29 23:41:30 +0000 UTC]

thanks.

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adamlara In reply to Avield [2013-06-30 13:39:33 +0000 UTC]

your welcome.

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Avield In reply to kushamisaru [2013-06-03 19:54:02 +0000 UTC]

I love it!

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Avield In reply to Random223 [2013-04-26 04:07:14 +0000 UTC]

No problem. Love your stuff.

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Avield In reply to ThePlaidShirtGuy [2013-03-08 23:39:25 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

I always loved the avatar universe and how deep it was, but I felt like at times things did not make sense historically. I wanted to know more. Who was the original avatar? How did the world come to be? And so many more things that were considered "fact" in the show. These stories were a way for me to fill in those gaps, while adding some depth to side characters and stories. (The sun warriors for example) While they are technically fan-created stories, I always write them as if they were canon, so that they can be enjoyed by everyone. Maybe even the creators themselves ^_-

Also, just to be clear. The art and character designs are not mine, they belong to the talented artist who drew them. I merely used their image (with permission) as a step off point to create my own history for the Avatar universe. You should tell her you like them, she deserves every bit of praise.

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ThePlaidShirtGuy In reply to Avield [2013-03-09 01:04:08 +0000 UTC]

Do you have a link you can give so I can contact her?

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Avield In reply to ThePlaidShirtGuy [2013-03-09 01:49:37 +0000 UTC]

its in the description

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Avield In reply to GoggleCannon [2013-02-24 21:29:35 +0000 UTC]

Much better.

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GoggleCannon In reply to Avield [2013-02-25 01:30:13 +0000 UTC]

Really?? Ya think so?

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Avield In reply to GoggleCannon [2013-02-25 01:34:13 +0000 UTC]

Definetely.

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Avield In reply to DewNoir [2013-02-23 04:10:58 +0000 UTC]

Awwww thank you. I love your webcomic and was so excited to meet your team at Otakon.

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DewNoir In reply to Avield [2013-02-23 04:46:29 +0000 UTC]

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Avield In reply to MichaelJLarson [2013-02-06 01:31:57 +0000 UTC]

AWESOME! I love seeing your pieces and can't wait to commission more amazing works.

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Avield In reply to GoggleCannon [2013-01-31 05:42:11 +0000 UTC]

Hmmmmm.
Alright lets try this.

• Point of view
While it uses a narrative voice, I feel like more details could be put in the story. Describe more about the sounds, smells, and don't be afraid if it sounds corny. People draw from example and drawing examples from the story itself can sometimes be amusing and insightful. Like... "She slid across the ice whisimly, like a excited otter penguin."

• Voice and style
Seems like its missing something... the story is there, but it lacks style. Something unique that separates you from the majority of writers out there.

• Characterization
I like the way Koh is portrayed, but I do not like Kuruk at all. Seems like you took a little too much inspiration from Aang.

• Dialogue
A little dry at times, but don't be afraid to show emotion. Not every conversation is perfect and more than often they be sloppy or not make any sense at all. Also, try not to use ... so often. Its out of place and should only be used in the right context.

• Setting
I got nothing. Honestly. If you really want some criticism. Just having a couple lines on it is really limiting yourself to some potentially amazing writing.

• Structure and plot
Easy. Divide your story into sections please. Nobody likes to read a wall of text. In terms of the plot, I would have liked a little more of an introduction then a straight up shove into the story. Also, the story seemed to jump a lot. I am always rechecking my stories to make sure they make sense in terms of development... otherwise the reader loses focus and gets bored.

OH!
and in terms of trying to make it seem canon...
The Avatar's past lives don't appear unless the Avatar is in need of them or are sought out. Avatar Yangchen in your story just seemed to "appear" like a messenger. Remember the basics of story telling.
Exposition, narrative hook, rising action, climax, falling action, and lastly the resolution.

Not every chapter needs to have this, but it should at least be evident as to where the chapter is in the plot line.

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GoggleCannon In reply to Avield [2013-02-02 01:19:19 +0000 UTC]

Thank you, I've gone back and rearranged the writing, and added a couple of things now, about Kuruk, when I started constructing what his personality would be like I thought about more how old he was when he died, and then more about what that game (I forgot what the name of it was) said he had acted as in his lifetime, I wasn't thinking of Aang at all, but I kinda see where you're coming from. I guess I should probably put my sketches up here now to explain it a bit better. Since Kuruk died at such a young age though, I'd imagine his relationship with Yangchen would be slightly strained. I tried getting that across horribly, but I'm fixing it. Yangchen's way of appearing, I thought different avatars would have different ways of communicating with their wards so Yangchen's way of 'just popping in' would happen because Kuruk would be too stubborn to call her on his own. Sorry, like I said I'm fixing it, the advice you gave is doing wonders, Thank You.

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Avield In reply to GoggleCannon [2013-02-02 04:06:30 +0000 UTC]

Writing is difficult. Especially when writing in a pre-established universe. Even the creators of their own work must be cautious so they don't alienate their fans. Take George Lucas for example...

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GoggleCannon In reply to Avield [2013-02-02 15:58:07 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I've put up two of the sketches if you want to see: [link]

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Avield In reply to GoggleCannon [2013-02-02 17:46:57 +0000 UTC]

These are significantly better than your writing! No offense, but the level in skill is easily recognizable.
Hmmmmmmmmm this is interesting on multiple levels.
Have you ever tried to ink and color your work digitally?
If so, please show me.
I may have cogs and wheels in motion.

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GoggleCannon In reply to Avield [2013-02-02 22:36:46 +0000 UTC]

No, I haven't tried drawing things digitally, I don't have the tools to do so, I also prefer to draw traditionally though. Might I ask what is interesting exactly?

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Avield In reply to GoggleCannon [2013-02-03 19:57:05 +0000 UTC]

You have a lot of skill in drawing and I think if you had the tools for it... you might be impressed with what you see.

Also, don't worry about what I mean by interesting.

I like to act mysterious.

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GoggleCannon In reply to Avield [2013-02-05 03:45:56 +0000 UTC]

Funny thing two hours after you wrote me that last comment, my family finally got a scanner up and running in the household, it all worked out!

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